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commuting, miseries of

Commuters, "those gaberdine swine", have much to endure even when they are not the classic Southern Region sardines. According to a recent newspaper column, however, it is not overcrowding and unpunctuality that head the list.
The three most unpopular things on commuter trains are hamburgers, mobile phones and teenagers. That's because each of them breaks the cardinal rule of commuting, which is that you must not intrude on your neighbour in any way. A hamburger smells offensive to anybody who isn't eating it; a mobile phone sounds offensive to anybody who isn't using it; and teenagers are offensive to anybody who isn't one.

Happily, I can here mention that our commute is twenty minutes each way on the bus. Hamburgers definitely not allowed, teenagers not that often seen... Two out of three isn't bad, I suppose.